Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
