My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
