She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
