I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
