I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
