taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
