was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
