Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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