i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize