You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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