Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
