If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
