Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hell yes lets make some ravioli
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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