strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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