At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize