if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
