OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
