Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
