I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize