i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
