I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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