Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
