it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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