I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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