There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
