It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
