i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
