Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
