hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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