My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
