Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
