yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
