her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
