from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
