I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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