i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
