u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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