sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
