I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
