So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
