Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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