well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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