its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
