he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
