Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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