this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
