People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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