is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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