I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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