Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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