That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize