so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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