I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize