Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just pynch a tree in the face
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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