Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
