Got a toothbrush?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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