WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
