whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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