shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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