Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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