she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
