my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
dude. I can hear the air.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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