What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
