there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
